LOVE! What a word! Sweet, pure, exciting, refreshing,
liberating BUT at times, tough, painful, and worst of all, heart-breaking! Love
has myriad of meanings depending on the circumstances. It is an accepted
concept that “true love comes from God.” But when we commit to love, we
realized that it is more than a concept. It is a painful but rewarding reality.
I have always wondered how my parents felt when they were
raising five crazy kids led by a strong-willed little girl who was so adamant
against rules. My parents were loving yet strict parents. For our utmost
disciplinary means, my father spanked us with his leather belt (his full name
embossed on it). Yes! All five of us in one hit! The rule is, “if one commits a
sin, all are punished.” Why? We are taught that we are accountable for one
another. After each session, I remember giggling with my brothers while comparing
what letters marked on our legs to complete his name. Thank God, my youngest sister did not experience this!
“I will never be like
them! I will be kind, loving, understanding and a forgiving parent.”
Yeah… right!
Guess what! My parents attested that I was even stricter
than them. My justification…the current situations are different: media,
pornography, computers, music, deteriorating family values and so on and so
forth. How can I be lenient and at times not be severe? Or how can I be
gracious and not be harsh when necessary? How can I be forgiving and not
require them to pay the consequences? As parents, we desire our children to
grow in love and grace but with strength and discipline, assets and not
liabilities to the community
If you are wondering why I am writing about this… we bumped
with the following in one of our morning readings from The Quest for Character
by Charles R. Swindoll. We had read this when we were starting our family years and years
ago and it’s worth sharing:
How to Train Your
Child to be a Delinquent
1.
When your kid is still an infant, give him
everything he wants. This way he’ll think the world owes him a living when he
grows up.
2.
When he picks up swearing and off-color jokes,
laugh at him, encourage him. As he grows up, he’ll pick up “cuter” phrases that
will floor you.
3.
Never give him any spiritual training. Wait
until he is twenty-one and let him decide for himself.
4.
Avoid using the word wrong. It will give your child a guilt complex. You can condition
him to believe later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is
against him and he is being persecuted.
5.
Pick up after him – his books, shoes, and
clothes. Do everything for him so he will be experienced in throwing all
responsibility onto others.
6.
Let him read all printed matter he can get his
hands on… (never think of monitoring his TV programs). Sterilize the
silverware, but let him feast his mind on garbage.
7.
Quarrel frequently in his presence. Then he
won’t be too surprised when his home is broken up later.
8.
Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, and
comfort. Every sensual desire must be gratified; denial may lead to harmful
frustrations.
9.
Give your child all the spending money he wants.
Don’t make him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you did?
10.
Take his side against neighbors, teachers, and
policemen. They’re all against him.
11.
When he gets into real trouble, make up excuses
for yourself by saying, “I never could do anything with him; he’s just a bad
seed.
12.
Prepare for a life of grief.
Funny but the above principles still are true today! The basic need of children to be guided
properly in the home by men and women of values echoes loudly from generation
to generation. Though rapid changes are happening around us, the home is still
the place where character is cemented through relationships and attitudes and beliefs
are cultivated through examples.
My dear co-parents, we are the tangible expression of
the Father’s love to our children. How will our children comprehend God’s
unconditional love, forgiveness and mercy if we don’t prove it to them? How will they understand that God hates sin
if we are not tough against sin? How will they truly comprehend the impact of
true love if we are not genuinely expressing it?
Parenting in truly a challenge but one thing is for sure though, we are not alone on this journey because our Heavenly Father is walking with us through this
process.
So, let me salute my Mom & Dad for being tough on us
because we turned out to be not crazy after all!
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