It had been a while
since I wrote my thoughts in this space. It had been a busy last quarter of
2014. God has given us quite a number of ministry opportunities to speak in
Parenting Seminars for Christian schools in and around Metro-Manila. These
experiences stirred our hearts to be advocates for families.
One of the highlights
for September of 2014 was that my first book, entitled “Gabay ni Tatay” (My Father’s Guidelines) was published. Indeed, it
was a dream-come true for me! But what made this experience so unique and
blessed were the insights I learned through the whole process.
This
book is a collection of anecdotes of my experiences as I vividly remembered
while growing up. With each article, it began with my father’s reminder and
guidelines and how I rebelled before I obeyed. I wrote as honest and candid as
possible so the readers can relate with my experiences. I had fun because the
book chronicled the many happy memories of our family. But there were times
that I cried as I recall the pains in learning and the cost of wrong decisions.
But what crunched my heart all the more were the realization and the reinforcement
of the truth that the family plays a crucial role in molding the lives of the
children to fulfill God’s intended purpose for each of their lives.
I
realized that each guideline taught to us is based on a Biblical principle or
verse. I praise God that my parents are both followers of
Jesus and His teachings. They are not the “perfect” parents but they tried as
much as possible to “train us in the way we should go.” They never stopped
reminding us and never quitted on us.
Yes, we were punished for our disobedience but their love embraced us.
They made the Bible the basis of their teachings and disciplines, not only in
words but in their examples. They modeled God’s love and His Word to us.
I
realized why God loves the family. The “family” blossomed
from the very heart of God. It is God-designed and God-initiated. When a wee
little baby is born to this world, it is the family that is given the first
opportunity and the responsibility to love, to care, to nurture, to teach and
to train this child to grow up loving God above all, caring for others first
before one self.
I
realized how crucial the role of parents is in training their children.
The mandate of teaching and training the children is in the hands of the
parents. God designed it this way.
Do
you know that we are born with the brain cells or neurons we will ever have?
The brain will reach 70% of its mature weight by the age of 2 years old. The brain continues to develop through childhood
in two (2) ways: the building of connections or pathways among neurons between
the different parts of our brain and these neural connections are being
insulated by fatty tissue which improves the transfer of information. These
connections are established through the child’s senses (what they see, smell,
feel, taste, and hear) – the sensory experiences. But if these neural
connections are not reinforced after 6 years old, all these connections will be
severed by age 11 – 12. (I first learned
of this truth in brain development when I was in Melbourne in 2008 taking some
modules on Early Childhood Development as a recipient of Australian Leadership
Award funded by AusAid).
Learning of this scientific
truth crunched my heart, wishing that I had learned of this when my children
were still small. I had made mistakes in manners of disciplining and teaching
them and it is only by God’s grace that they are who they are today.
The formative years of
a child are crucial. What the child experience throughout
these years will be the foundational structure of his/her life. This reinforced
what the Bible says in Proverbs 22: 6 , “Train up a
child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
I
realized that it is in the family that a child captures the character of God.
God is loving, kind, patient, merciful, forgiving et al. But a child just not
catches these BUT imitate these from their parents or caregivers.
If a child’s
environment is filled with love, goodness, kindness and forgiveness during
their formative years, this child will grow up as a secure and fulfilled
individual. But if a child’s environment is filled with hatred and bitterness, this
child will grow up insecure and with a low self-worth.
As parents we often
think that our children are still too small to learn not knowing that we are
missing the greatest opportunity of establishing their structure that will
define their personality and values as an individual purposed by God.
Our children are
precious not only in our eyes but in the very eyes of God. Let us be imitators
of God for this verse to be a reality in our family, “The parents are the pride of their
children.” (Proverbs 17:16b)
Always remember that
these children are God’s blessings! They may be our biological children, our
nephews or nieces, our grandchildren or children from our church or the community.
They may be even children from the streets, yet, God brought them to our lives
on a specific time for a specific purpose.
THEREFORE…
May our family be a SAFE PLACE where they feel they are
precious, loved and accepted, respected and be nurtured.
May our family be A PLACE TO BELIEVE that God has
personally designed and wired each of them according to His plan and purpose as
declared in Psalm 139: 13 -16 – “You made all the
delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous –
how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as
I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your
book. Every moment was laid out before a single day has passed.”
May our family be A PLACE FOR THEM TO
BECOME the very fulfillment of His promise in Jeremiah
29:11 “For I know the
plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm
you, plans to give you hope and a future,”
the very individual God has purposed in His heart.
“We are made to look at our God to know who
we are. Our children look at our eyes to know who they are.” – Dr Karyn Purvis
You and I have a special role in the lives of the children God brings to our lives. We are God's partners in fulfilling His intended plan for that child's life!
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